Helga and the Nanny/Transcript
Patakis' kitchen ;Big Bob : Here's your Big Slurp, kid. Oh, and Miriam, I got you some of those little chocolate donuts! ;Miriam : What, who's coming? ;Big Bob : You gotta eat something. Remember? You're starting your community service job down at the animal shelter today. ;Miriam : I'll be—I'm just—ugh, I'm not good in the morning. ;Big Bob : Come on, the fresh air will do you good. And Helga, since your mom's gonna be out of the house, I hired a nanny. ;Helga : A nanny? Ha, I don't need a nanny, I can take care of myself! ;Big Bob : Bologna, you're only seven! ;Helga : I'm nine, dad. ;Big Bob : Anyway, the gal's name is Inga Pearlmudder, she'll be here any minute. ;Helga : What, are you trying to ruin my life? ;Big Bob : Hey hey hey hey hey! Don't bust my chops; it'll be good for you. :(doorbell rings) ;Big Bob : Ah, that must be her now. Morning, Inga. Well, gotta go pick up my lucky bill (?) before next week's clearance sale. ;Inge : Good morning, everyone, I'm Inga. Oh, and you must be Helga! ;Helga : No, she's Helga, and I'm Toulouse Lautrec. ;Inga : Soda and chocolate donuts are not a proper breakfast. Here, I have brought you some homemade gooseberry jam and pumpernickel bread. ;Helga : Yeah, yeah, great, but I already had breakfast, I'm all full. ;Inga : Too much sugar makes children cranky; look, your face is cranky already. I'll put some jam on my homemade bread, and you will try it, and I am sure you will like it. ;Helga : Mom, aren't you gonna do something? ;Miriam : I just—I have to go. To work. Somewhere. ;Helga : Fine. I'll eat your jam and bread and then I'm outta here. ;Inga : And after that, you will get dressed for school. ;Helga : What do you call this? ;Inga : Your dress is not pressed, your shoes are not polished, and we must braid your hair. ;Helga : Hey! Lady! This is how I look! Everyday! I am not, going to school, looking like some kind of starched and pressed windup doll. P.S. 118 hallway ;Stinky : Why Helga you look just like the girl on the box of hot chocolate. ;Helga : Ah put a sock in it Stinky, you think I don't know that? My nanny wouldn't let me out of the house until I changed. ;Phoebe : You have a nanny now Helga? ;Helga : Yeah, and she thinks she could just move into my house and start running my life. Well I've got news for her. Nobody runs Helga Pataki. ;Arnold : Wow Helga. You've got flowers in your hair. ;Helga : Yeah, you wanna make something of it football head? ;Arnold : No, I was just thinking you look kinda nice. Gerlad Field ;Helga : Ok you big candy cane, let's see if you have the muster to swing the lumber! ;Inga : Hey! I have been looking for you everywhere. ;Stinky : She's pretty enough to be the queen of the cheese festival. ;Helga : Don't bother me now, Edelweiss. ;Inga : You should have come home first. It's time to have a nutritious snack and do your homework. And after dinner, I will teach you how to do needlepoint. It's very calming for nervous children. ;Helga : I'm staying with my friends, and that's final! ;Inga : Tomorrow you may see your friends after school. Will you come and have cake? Helga's room ;Helga : (by phone) No, I don't have to get used to her Phoebe. She's gonna be gone as soon as my dad gets a load of the stuff she made for dinner. — Ah it's some kind of foreign food. Dad's gonna blow his stack. He hates that stuff. Patakis' dining room ;Big Bob : I love this stuff. I haven't had potato dumplings this good since my Baba made it when I was a little boy. I'ma have to put another notch in my lucky belt Inga. ;Helga : Great. Just great. ;Inga : Helga you haven't touched your potato dumpling. Is there something wrong? ;Helga : Yeah, it stinks. ;Big Bob : Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You watch your mouth missy. ;Inga : You haven't asked to be excused Helga. ;Helga : Can I be excused? MOM? ;Miriam : Uh, yeah, whatever. ;Helga : Thanks, Mom. I'm outta here. ;Inga : You must show respect Helga. Curtsy for your father. ;Helga : All hail the Beeper King. ;Inga : Helga! Park ;Helga : I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! ;Phoebe : Look on the bright side Helga. Inga has many admirable qualities. You could learn a lot from her. ;Helga : What are you nuts? ;Arnold : Wow Inga. You're beautiful, you're intelligent, you're the most amazing woman I ever met. ;Helga : That tears it! ;Phoebe : I don't know why you're so hard on Inga. I'm sure she makes mistakes like everyone else. ;Helga : Not enough of them. Patakis' trophy room ;Helga : Oh no! What a mess! This is terrible! ;Inga : What happened child? ;Helga : You know that welcome wreath they're making for the front door? Well I was using your wood glue, totally unsupervised and I spilled a whole jar on dad's chair by accident, and he's gonna be home any minute! ;Inga : Thank goodness that's all it is! I was afraid you were hurt. ;Helga : You're not — upset? ;Inga : No. I know how to remove stains from anything. Your father's chair will be perfect again in no time. Patakis' kitchen ;Helga : Another 20 minutes, and it'll be burnt to a crisp. Patakis' kitchen, 20 minutes later ;Helga : Oof, looks like dinner's ruined. You know, I really don't mind getting cereal for dinner, but dad's gonna hit the roof. ;Inga : Oh, I have prepared several emergency dinners for just such occasions. We eat in no time. Patakis' laundry ;Helga : This tablecloth is really delicate. Hmmm... That will shred it like cheese through a grater. Ha! Patakis' trophy room ;Helga : Wow! I guess you ruined Mom's antique tablecloth — bad day, huh? ;Inga : Yes, I seem to have a little raincloud following me everywhere. ;Helga : Tough luck. Might as well throw it out. ;Inga : No, there's always a way to rescue these things. ;Helga : I've been thinking too small. It's time to think big. What if she loses something really valuable? No. What if it happens, to disappear? Ahahahaha. Big Bob's room; Inga's room ;Helga : This is perfect. Dad's lucky belt with the diamond buckle. He'll be looking all over for it tomorrow. He never starts a clearance sale without it. Patakis' kitchen ;Big Bob : Where in creation is my lucky belt?! I have a clearance sale today. I need that belt! ;Helga : Ooh, you mean your lucky belt with the diamond buckle is missing? ;Big Bob : I can't start slashing prices without it! ;Helga : This is terrible! We're going to be poor! Say dad, isn't it strange your belt's never been missing before. Only, since Inga starting working here. ;Big Bob : What're you driving at? ;Helga : You said you looked everywhere. Did you look in Inga's bedroom? Patakis' entrance hall ;Big Bob : I trusted you. I let you into my house. My castle! For crying out loud, why would you rip me off?! ;Inga : Mr. Bob I have done no such thing. When you come to your senses, you will realize this has all been a terrible mistake. Isn't that true Helga? A mistake was made. ;Helga : I trusted you Nanny Inga. ;Big Bob : The only mistake around here was me hiring you little lady. Now, get your streudeling fanny outta my house. ;Inga : Fine, I will go now. ;Big Bob : Sayonara fräulein! P.S. 118 playground ;Stinky : Your sandwich looks mighty pretty Helga. Inga makes a real nice presentation. ;Helga : Here it's yours but don't get used to it. My dad fired her this morning. ;Arnold : Fired her? ;Phoebe : Inga seemed highly qualified at her job. ;Helga : Yeah well my dad found his lucky belt under her bed this morning, and STEALING qualifies you for getting fired. ;Arnold : I can't believe Inga would steal! ;Helga : Don't be ridiculous, of course Miss Goody Two-Shoes didn't steal the belt. I had to get rid of her somehow, so I took it. ;Phoebe : You set her up on purpose? ;Arnold : I can't believe you'd do something that mean. ;Helga : Hey... she was ruining my life! Patakis' kitchen ;Big Bob : You call this stuff coleslaw? ;Helga : I can't eat anymore of this. ;Big Bob : Eh, clear your plate. ;Helga : There's no more room in the sink. ;Big Bob : You know, I kinda miss old Inga. She had this place running like a Swiss watch: the food was great, my shirts looked brand spanking new, and she always had a smile on her face. Who'da thought a gal like that would be a common thief? ;Helga : Yeah, well, forget about her dad. She wasn't that great, anyway she's probably already working for somebody else. Helga's dream ;Helga : What is this place? Feel like I'm in some sort of painting or something. Hi Inga, what're you doing in the park? ;Inga : I'm here everyday now. I have nowhere else to go. ;Helga : You don't have a job? ;Inga : No one will hire a common thief. ;Helga : What do you do for food? ;Inga : I get by. It's mine! Mine I tell you! Get away you dirty bird! Helga's room ;Helga : (Screaming) Why do I keep having this dream?! I can't take it anymore! I-I know, I'll just go to the park tomorrow, and Inga won't be there, it'll all be ok. Park ;Helga : Oh no! Just like in my dream! Don't panic Helga, it's probably just a coincidence. So, Inga, did you find another job? ;Inga : No Helga, there is no job in my future. ;Helga : I can't stand it! I've gotta tell you — I know how dad's lucky belt got under your bed. ;Inga : We both know Helga. You put it there to make trouble for me. ;Helga : I had to do something! You were making me miserable! ;Inga : There is no excuse for what you did. And you must face the consequences. ;Helga : What consequences? I got away with it, didn't I?! ;Inga : You're such an angry girl Helga, and you won't let anyone help you, so you must live with your unhappiness. Patakis' residence ;Big Bob : What do you mean the TV's broke?! I gotta watch my new beeper commercial Miriam! What is it about this house anyway?! Everything's always going wrong at the worst possible time! Helga's room ;Inga : (in a letter) Dear Helga, it is wonderful to be back in the Alps. I trust everything in your house is the same as always. Inga. Category:Helga and the Nanny Category:Episode transcripts